What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
