There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
