you turned your livingroom into a bong?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
