we have pet lesbian snakes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
