WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
