Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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