Well apparently he's into motor boating.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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