just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
