i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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