i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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