the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
