I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
