i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
