so that wasnt chicken after all
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
