Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
