I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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