I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
