is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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