i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
