When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
