Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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