I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
