You can't motorboat a personality
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
bring money and cleavage
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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