U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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