i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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