He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
