I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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