think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
