sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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