I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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