My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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