he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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