we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
