i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
