so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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