Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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