So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
