I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm gonna fight the coyote
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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