UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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