If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
