I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize