the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
