so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
