spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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