yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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