erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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