When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
