I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
