his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize