cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
