You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
