I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
