why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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