Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize