Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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