elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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