So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This can only be settled by a dance off.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
