took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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