whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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